older, should be wiser mom

Christmas Break

2010-12-28T14:40:00.003-06:00

Our oldest is home from college and we seem to have finally adjusted. He kept crazy hours when he first got home and I'm still not thrilled with all the coming and goings but at least I can get some sleep now.

Christmas was very nice and my youngest son served mass which made it easier for me to get moving. I always enjoy having Christmas at our house and miss it the years my sister does it. We have done a fair amount of entertaining over the holiday and will be having yet another dinner tonight for a stepson who couldn't manage to get here for any of the other gatherings.

Tonight is the Insight Bowl and we were invited to a party but it conflicted with tonights dinner. I'm not sure we would have been able to attend anyway since the game begins at 9pm and we are usually looking for our jammies around 9. Doesn't seem like the best time choice for two midwestern teams.

So this year one of my New Year resolutions will be to listen to my husband when he says not to worry about cleaning the house when family and friends are coming over (at least when it is is family and friends).

2010-10-05T10:13:00.003-05:00

Well, my oldest is at college. Since he is in State the longest we have gone without seeing him is 4 weeks. I think what he misses the most is his big bed. Knock on wood, but he seems pretty happy with his school choice. The two times he has been home he has given me cooking suggestions from the cafeteria. He is living in the athletes dorm and apparently they have great food. Certainly a switch from when I was in school when everything seemed to be a pasta or soaked in sauce.

I enjoy reading everyone's blogs. Many of my surprising favorites are written by men and touch on fashion. My husband is older than I and from Boston. I believe in all the years we have been married (approaching 20) he has bought maybe 3 or 4 pairs of new shoes and continues to get his shoes resoled and refurbished. Last week he showed me new soles on a pair of his favorites. He has LLBean boots and jackets that must be 40 years old. I never quite 'got it' until I started reading blogs where men discuss the quality of a shoe intended to last a lifetime or the practicality of owning a field jacket for decades.

Football

2010-08-05T17:39:00.004-05:00

This is out of order ...

Our youngest son, who is going to be starting 7th grade, began football this week. Our older son swam and played water polo on his high school teams. The equipment is minimal, you don't have to worry about weather, the meets are relatively short and the games are 7 minute quarters. All of our children have done summer swim team and we've always felt it is worth the time and expense because it is a sport they can do the rest or their lives and always compare their own personal best times. They have all been good, strong swimmers.

Our children have also dabbled in soccer, basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennis, and track. We've always been laid back about their activities. And for good reason, we generally have the child chasing butterflies in the outfield, braiding their hair on the soccer field or asking the coach if they could please sit on the bench.

Something has happened with my husband and football. He has gone to all the parent meetings, purchased all the equipment, worked with our son on the playbook, and generally become 'one of those parents'.

We now watch college football on a regular basis and my husband has said 'J' could go to 'insert large midwestern Catholic University' and play football. Really?????

Clarify Please

2010-07-31T09:06:00.002-05:00

I picked my oldest son up from a 3 week summer session at our State's engineering university. He gets 3 credit hours and the opportunity to become familiar with some of the professors and layout of the school. If you were dropped onto this campus, with no knowledge of it's specialty, you would be able to guess that it is an engineering school.

As we are driving home younger son tells his brother he should major in computer engineering, get a job at Bungee (they make x-box games) so he can tell him all the secret codes. Older son laughs and says he is not going to spend 7 YEARS OF HIS LIFE getting a computer degree so his brother can get secret game codes.

Please tell me he is referring to undergraduate and graduate school!!

Where have I Been

2010-07-04T05:03:00.001-05:00

If you have boys, been a boy, or spent much time around boys let your imagination run wild and you're almost there.

Graduation

2010-05-21T16:13:00.003-05:00

My oldest graduated high school!!! He even managed to get his cap and gown and fines paid. A little part of me was concerned that he would have forgotten to turn in some paper necessary for a state required class. Because I am supersticious I did not purchase anything with 2010 on it until I saw his diploma. We will be having his graduation celebration in a few weeks. Lots of the 2010 paper products are gone and it is on to 4th of July.

I also attended a college graduation. When I graduated, the valedictorian and saludatorian gave commencement speeches. At my son's graduation the senior class voted on the speeches to determine who would be honored. I'm not sure how the college graduation speakers were determined but it was not by GPA.

If I remember correctly, when I graduated the speeches tended to include lines about going in to the world and changing and improving it. At my son's graduation it seemed as though both speakers (female) were auditioning for Glee.

Minute to Win It

2010-04-19T06:35:00.002-05:00

Last night I was watching Dateline NBC while cleaning up the kitchen. After Dateline a game show called "Minute to Win It" came on. The scene I saw showed someone trying to put an orange traffic cone on his head using a fishing rod. The other snippets showed similar challenges. It seems to be a show where adults compete in games typically done at elementary school holiday parties. If I ever find myself sitting down to watch this show I will be donating my television to the Goodwill.

Crazy Straws

2010-04-15T14:26:00.002-05:00

The news was on in the kitchen this morning while my children were having breakfast. NBC did a story about a state university in California which was under scrutiny for contracting with Sarah Pallin to give a speech. Apparently a student found a copy of the contract in the trash. One of the requirements, according to the story, was that she be provided two water bottles with bendy straws.

My 18 year old said she should have gone for those crazy, twisty straws I used to get him when he was little.

It's moments like this that have kept me going the past 18 years.

Big Mistake

2010-03-29T06:39:00.003-05:00

One of my biggest parenting mistakes, and one that I can immediately see was wrong, was getting our 6th grader a phone. At least half of the children in his class already had phones and we had planned on getting him one this summer for his birthday. I don't think he every goes places where he does not have easy access to a phone but he was driving us crazy and he's the last of five so it's a short drive.

When my husband was in the hospital I really felt I wanted to be able to talk to our youngest whenever I had a free moment and a good cell connection. I didn't want to go through someone's mom or one of our other children. So when we got home from the hospital and settled we went and bought a phone.

He never answers the phone when I call. He usually can't find the phone or it is not charged. But the worst part of the phone is when it is charged. He gets lots and lots of calls from girls. Yesterday, one of the girls called to tell him she had just won her volleyball tournament. I know it is appropriate for girls to call boys, and I know their calls are innocent (like the volleyball tournament) but I just don't like girls calling my son. I am probably 10 years older than many of the moms in my sons class and maybe that is the difference. I was raised to believe a woman could do anything a man can do but this just bugs me.

I don't want my daughter calling boys however my older son will probably need a girl to call him to give him a nudge. He doesn't seem to get any hints girls drop in his direction.

Not happening

2010-03-26T14:31:00.002-05:00

The past six weeks have been a blur. We finally have a doctors appointment scheduled for this Monday and are looking forward to some answers and hopefully some improvement in his condition.

I worked on my daughter's school auction which although time consuming is a wonderful distraction from everything else in my life. Most people are so generous and gracious but there are always a few 'crazies'. Those parents or grandparents who will argue with you about a $2 bid or whether the bid sheets were pulled a minute early, the ones who walk off with an item they did not win. Unfortunately, those folks are the ones you deal with at the end of a very long day and as I walked out I vowed never again. Having said that ... when asked I agreed to sign on again for next year (a tougher stronger me though).

I've missed my routine. I typically go to the library several times a week. I LOVE the library. Nothing is more relaxing than going to bed early with a big stack of books and magazines. During these past several weeks I've been to library perhaps once or twice and usually only to pick up items my children have requested. Since I am the only parent driving or attending our children's plays, concerts, games, etc. I don't go to be early. Our library now has self service pick-up so I haven't even gotten to interact with the librarians.

Last weekend while driving somone somewhere I was listenting to NPR and heard someone talking about climbing Mt. Everest. I never could figure out who the speaker was put I did pick up Michael Kodas book High Crimes. It is very well written and accessible for someone who has never been a hiker. I get altititude sickness whenever we are in the mountains.

I've never been much of an adventurer and am not very athletic. Something about the story on NPR and this book have made me a bit sad that I am never going to climb Mt. Everest. And I'm not sure why that is. I don't like the cold, I don't do well in high altitiudes, I hate skiing, and I don't have an extra $60,000 to have someone haul me up the mountain.

The Orange People

2010-03-09T20:28:00.003-06:00

As I was out running errands today I noticed that the orange people have returned. The orange people are almost always female and they wear tennis togs or shorts. Many times you will see an orange mother with one or two orange teenage daughters. Since Spring Break season is upon us I suspect they are prepping for trips to warmer weather.

The Nanc Clause

2010-03-01T08:40:00.002-06:00

As the Health Care Bill is being debated, I ask that there be included a clause, stating that no hospital, doctor or any other health care provider may even submit a bill until they have provided the patient the results of the tests, procedure or operations they have endured. I know those doctors are busier than the rest of us so perhaps they could have a person on staff who can provide those results.

If I can get that in can I also add a clause stating that no insurance company or patient is responsible for a test when the results are so out of whack (according to the physician) that there must have been a math error. Of course that will be void if the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th tests come up with the same results.

And maybe we can also add that if the patient or their wife is given instructions to 'please remember, it's very important', to remind the radiologist to measure the pressure at the 5th spinal puncture we get a discount.

Thanks.

Alice In Wonderland

2010-02-25T09:49:00.004-06:00

Perhaps my interest in Alice In Wonderland has been piqued by my husband's seven night stay in the hospital. I do believe I have fallen into a hole. He's home, still has some symptoms and we have yet to get results from all the tests or a direction to follow. The doctor's office has still not returned our call to schedule an appointment. I can do an entire post on this experience.

Last night, as my 14 year old daughter and I were leaving the library I asked her if she was planning going to see Alice in Wonderland. She is and already has her group organized. I asked her what was the appeal. Her answer, it's a Tim Burton production and everyone knows Lewis Carroll was stoned when he wrote Alice in Wonderland.

So I'm still wondering ... I'm not sure how the movie industry works but I'm assuming when they 'pitch a project' there is a target audience. Why would someone choose a longtime childhood favorite and turn it into a vehicle to make teens think drugs are funny? I think that all those American Pie films fill that niche.

Are you old enough???

2010-02-24T09:25:00.002-06:00

As I watch the previews for Alice In Wonderland I'm wondering who is the target audience. This movie seems to be the type I would have gone to see in college in a state similar to when my roomates and I would go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Do college students still do those kinds of things? Please tell me they don't.

From the previews this versioin of Alice in Wonderland doesn't seem like a movie I would take a young child to see. The first movie my oldest saw in a theater was The Lion King and my daughter saw Toy Story. I have no clue what was my youngest son's first movie.

Rising to the Occasion

2010-02-18T18:28:00.002-06:00

With his Dad in the hospital my oldest son is getting a crash course in growing up. I always wondered how he would manage in college. He has been shuttling his siblings to activities, grocery shopping, and took himself to the doctor. He had to get a prescription for amoxacillin filled and it only cost $1. I had given him a credit card to handle his doctor visit. Can you believe he charged the prescription?? He said he doesn't use his money to pay for medicine, just like I don't use my money to pay for energy drinks.

More and More Tests

2010-02-18T13:11:00.002-06:00

Saturday I took my husband to the hospital with stroke like symptoms. I took him to a hospital close to our home but he was transferred to the big teaching hospital a little further into the city. He didn't have a stroke but we are still here doing tests. This is a huge hospital, it is going 24 hours a day. He did one of the tests last night at 1 AM. All in all he has been receiving good care but I now know what they mean when they tell you to make sure you have a family member looking out for your welfare. When I asked to speak to a doctor before they were wheeling him off for a tests which was different than what we told he was receiving I was told we would lose our place in line for the machine. We opted for discussing with the doctor and we did lose our place in line. Last night as he was going down for his test he needed some medication which the nurse had to get. The tech, politely told her she only had 5 more minutes to wait and then she would have to leave. I wonder how many medical decisions are made based around these time constraints.

I have been reading lots of blogs while I sit in his room. I have books with me but it is too hard for me to concentrate for any length of time. So please keep up your wonderful posting, it has been a tremendous diversion.

12 Boxes/3 Gallons

2010-02-12T17:26:00.005-06:00

My family has gone through 12 boxes of kleenex in the past three weeks and almost three gallons of orange juice!! Everyone has a long lingering cold. Last week I had to leave an auction meeting because I simply could not breathe. Ordinarily I am able to push through a cold, like all moms. My children have had multiple sick days and could probably have had a few more. They do seem to perk up on the weekends for mixers, tournaments and parties.

My husband, who is one of the few people left who still use a handkerchief, has been relatively healthy. I think he is also the only person who wears slippers he needs to put on with a shoehorn.

Have you ever seen the old movie Walk, Don't Run with Cary Grant and Jim Hutton? There's a scene where Cary Grant's character is in a hurry to get out of his room and sits on the side of the bed putting his slippers on before rushing out. That's my husband -- would never dream of going barefoot.

Snow Days

2010-02-10T06:35:00.002-06:00

All three schools were closed for my children yesterday. Initially my daughter's school was going to have a late start but changed to closed. Our first automated call woke me at 5:20 and they continued to 6:30. After the first call I put the television on and watched the list scroll as well as checked the list on the web.

We were rarely off when I went to school. I remember standing in snow waiting for the bus, I'm now wondering my mother didn't drive us to the bus stop and let us wait in the car like parents do now. I really don't recall any parents waiting with the children.

David Sedaris's Snow Day tells the story of his mother locking him and his sisters out of their house after their fifth snow day. I understand and find absolutely no fault with her parenting skills.

My husband and were remembering at dinner last night how we used to have to wait for school to be cancelled by listening to the radio and how if you missed your letter of the alphabet you'd have to sit through that entire list again. My daughter was surprised by this, why didn't we just call one our friends. Well, because they were listenting to the radio also, and because before cell phones we never would have considered calling someone's home at 6:30 am.

Little Moments

2010-02-06T07:31:00.003-06:00

Yesterday my daughter wasn't feeling great and opted to come home after school rather than staying for homecoming festivities. It's rare for us to be in the car alone immediately after school, we usually have our carpool. It was such a treat. I had forgotten how those few minutes after school are so informative. She chatted about her classes and teachers, a play she tried out for but for which she did not get a part.

As luck would have it, I had been on her Facebook page earlier in the day. I have a Facebook account because I wanted to be able to monitor what my children were doing on their pages. I requested they all 'friend' me but no one has accepted my request. My youngest son, who as far as I can tell just plays a farm game on Facebook, has his page set to automatically load so I can go through his account to my daughter's account. The previous weekend there had been a mixer she was unable to attend because of a dance rehearsal. I looked at the pictures some of her friends had posted and was apalled. It's a group that she has not been hanging out with much this past year. They were dressed like 'those cows you don't buy because you are definitely getting the milk for free'. It's cold here and they were in little gym shorts and t shirts. When I saw the pictures my first thought that this was a dress up day for spirit week, but when I asked her she told me they were going to the Friday night mixer. Without any prompting to me she said they looked trashy and think it's cool to dress like sluts. I can tell she is transitioning between groups of friends and I know it's hard .

We stopped at Trader Joes for a flat bread pizza to have for dinner and as we were checking out she asked if she could get a chocolate bar which of course I agreed to as long as I got a taste. As we sat in the car she unwrapped the candy and was so excited because it was was wrapped with gold foil on the inside -- she told me she just loves when candy bars are wrapped in foil. She slowly unwrapped the bar took a piece and rewrapped. I don't know why I was so touched by such a little act but it almost made me cry. Maybe it was the truly uncensored moment, or seeing her as a little girl again, or seeing a glimpse into the woman she will become.

Lists

2010-02-01T16:25:00.003-06:00

Over the holidays, for the first time, I kept lists. I bought a steno book (I loved these when I worked) and kept lists for gifts, dinner parties, etc. This may have contributed to our low stress Christmas.

My sister has always kept lists, I have never kept a list. No matter what my sister does she appears to accomplish it with no effort, but I believe her secret is the list. Her lists are extremely detailed and sometimes are even color coded. If she is hosting a function at her house it is so easy to help her since she can just give you a portion of the list to complete. Another lawyer friend of mine is also a huge list maker. I have been at her house early on the day she is hosting a party and thought there is no way she is going to pull this off. She is the most graceful hostess and never gives any sense of being stressed or overwhelmed. She uses a legal pad to make extraordinary lists.

Are you a list maker?

I have lots going on this month and really quite a bit through the end of the school year. So I am going to make lists and see if that helps. I find myself wasting so much time, and probably money, on trips to the grocery store or Target.

Lights Please

2010-01-31T21:19:00.004-06:00

I spent the weekend at a water polo tournament and numerous dance recital productions. Everything was great and I had planned ahead so I didn't try to accomplish anything around the house this weekend.

Most people have gotten into the habit of turning off their cell phones during recitals. I don't have a blue tooth but apparently the guy in front of me at this afternoon's production does. All during the show it was interminttently blinking. On the back of his ear. What's the point? He couldn't see it. So annoying. He appeared to be late 50s or early 60s, sporting a fake tan. I have spent enough time among teenage girls to spot a fake tan and usually pinpoint the origin (spray, tanning bed, cream).

We still do not have mirrors in our master bath, and since we had sunlight yesterday I put my make-up on in the front hall where the sunshine just beemed. Not good, at all. Back to the filtered light in the guest bath.

Sun ??

2010-01-26T06:25:00.002-06:00

I don't believe we have caught more than a fleeting glimspe of the sun the last few weeks. It's really making me tired and unmotivated. We just had our master bath repainted and had the large, dated plate mirrors taken down. I can't bring myself to go look for new ones. I should have had the mirrors ready before the old ones were taken down but my children get their proscratination gene honestly. We're using our guest bath for putting on make-up and shaving. My husband says he is worried I am going to get mad for how messy he is when he shaves (water everywhere). Shreww??? It doesn't irritate me any more than the splashes in our bathroom.

My ideas for dinner have dried up. My husband doesn't grill in the cold and damp (and neither do I). I am so eager to sit on the deck with a glass of wine while he grills.

Even our dog is tired of the gloom. We have a Corgi and she never rises in the morning until we get her leash and bring it to her bed. She'll stay in bed until mid-morning when we have occasionally slept that late. But now, when I hook her leash on her in the morning to go out, she glares at me and slowly stretches. She normally runs up and down the stairs trying to get everyone ready for school (she's a herding breed). Yesterday she sat on the landing midway up and barked.

After they leave today I think we will lay down with a book. I picked up A Season In Purgatory by Dominick Dunne at the library yesterday, sounds like easy reading for a blah day.

Letting Go

2010-01-23T09:25:00.002-06:00

Mrs. Blanding's wrote a post about her oldest son transitioning into a teenager. Those moments hit you at such unexpeted times. I keep looking at my oldest, who is going off to college this fall (actually it will still be summer) and thinking how quickly those years have passed. During our college visit he was articulate, shook hands, looked people in the eye, asked questions, answered questions. All without my prodding. He did know what we had been telling him all these years. I have his art projects decorating the upstairs hall. This past week when he asked why I am still displaying the paper mache fish he made in 3rd grade. My answer, "because I can't keep the Christmas tree up with all the handmade ornaments".

My husband and daughter went to her schools father/daughter dance last night. I knew she would look far more grown-up than her 14 years (but no more grown-up than her peers). Her Dad is having a very difficult time walking lately because of severe arthritis and he was worried she might be embarrased or frustrated. He told me she handled the evening with grace and they had a wonderful time.

Having said that ... is it wrong for me to consider what color to paint my son's room when he leaves in August? Should I wait until he is a junior or senior?

Group Learning

2010-01-12T09:34:00.004-06:00

There seems to be a trend in two of my children's schools toward group learning. My older son participated in these types of activities when he was younger and it seemed to be something to be endured or tolerated rather than an enhancement of the learning process. At best he learned that the girls would usually get their way or tell on you if you didn't agree with their particular take on a problem. In my younger son's case he is in a math group with two girls. They're bossy and best friends. I just don't see math as a place to use group learning, not at this age and grade level. There is nothing to be gained from talking about the problems, no new insights. He is not engaged. He worked in a group in his science class doing a dissection and I understand using a group when you have limited resources. And of course getting to cut anything up is fun!

At my daughter's school they have been put in groups to study the constitution. The teacher stated that the smartest girls would be the group leaders ( not my daughter). Another girl in the group would grade the tests. My daughter chose not to do that since she is not one to seek out any extra work. The girls are not allowed to talk to the teacher about the subject, but must go to the group leader.

My son's school is having a 'dialogue' and the principal wants us to email him any questions we have beforehand. In the past whenever I have raised concerns about group work I am told that it will really help them in the workplace. I worked for 20 years and do not think that group work in grade school would have made me more successful. In the workplace you have clearly defined roles and areas of expertise. The 6th graders seem fairly interchangeable. I am going to email my concerns about group work but wonder if anyone has other comments or viewpoints before I contact the principal. Discuss.

Cash Cab

2010-01-12T06:19:00.002-06:00

Last night while unloading the dishwaher/making dinner/folding laundry I watched Cash Cab. I am the smartest person I know!! Truly my smarts are being wasted.

Boys

2010-01-08T19:28:00.003-06:00

I can't say boys are easier or harder to raise than girls, but they are so different. I can't figure them out. Why do they pick anything up and use it as a sword or gun?

When my oldest was less than a year old I unexpectedly had to return to work. I am a firm believer that sometimes the pieces just fall into place for you when you are at capacity, and sometimes you don't quite realize it until you look back and reflect. I worked at a military/commercial airline manufacturer. The company got on the workplace daycare band wagon shortly before my son was born. The president's wife took it on as a pet project and lured a headmaster from a private school to run the facility. It was immediately filled, and had a long wait list. I didn't think I would need to put my son in daycare so I didn't sign up. When I suddenly had to go back to work I called and there was an immediate opening in his age group. Two years later, right around the time I quit working, the daycare closed. It was truly a blessing.

I tried not to stereotype my children. My oldest got a play kitchen with all the accessories for his first Christmas. He never used it the way his sister did four years later. By the time my youngest son was born I had abandoned any thoughts of him making play lunches for his stuffed animals.

All that is said to make the point that my son was in a daycare operated by a manufacturer of defense weapons, missiles, fighter jets. When he was in the one year old room he would pick up bannanas from the household living center, hold them like a pistol and pretend to shoot. When I would pick him up the teachers would chastise me and tell me how they were trying to get him to stop. I assured them he had never seen me, or anyone as far as I knew, aim a bananna and shoot. I didn't have cable and the only childrens programming he saw was Sesame Street. This went on until he moved up to the next group. In the two year old room he had access to legos and was able to assemble an entire aresenal. Once again I had to explain that this was not something we did at home. Neither of my boys could ever walk by a stick without picking it up and swinging.

My fourteen year old daughter had a boy/girl party this fall. We have pool, table tennis and air hockey, a big screen tv and lots of video games. We had put all of my younger sons nerf guns, swords, star wars lasers on shelves in the playroom. What did most of the 14 year old boys gravitate to -- the swords, guns and lasers (except for the one boy that wandered into the storage area with a girl who wasn't invited to the party).

We hosted a swim team dinner for my older son. When I went downstairs to check on them I noticed that the swords, guns and lasers were out. Some of the boys were playing poker with a sword sitting next to their chair or playing a video game while holding a nerf pistol.

My children got iphones (if they can pay the $30 connection fee) and itouches this year. There is an app that replicates a pistol and a variety of other guns. Both of my boys downloaded this and shoot each other with their iphone/touch!! My daughter didn't download that app.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-26T16:37:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas! This year was a huge turning point for my family. I'm used to hectic Christmas mornings, wondering if I'm going to have to go to church in my pajamas, hurrying home to try and get ready for Christmas dinner. We used to try and keep track of all their toys so they wouldn't lose parts before they got to play with them. I became ambidexterous untwisting all the ties holding Barbie to her packaging while helping with a Lego set.

This year we slept a bit later (my 11 year old still had us up before 7). We opened presents, but since we get ipods and video cameras now it doesn't take long. My children don't need me to connect/set-up their new equipment -- in fact I believe I'm a hindrance. Everything was easily tidied up and organized by 8. By 9:30 we were all ready for church looking at each. Fortunately we had to get there early since my son was serving. We had some heavy flurries which iced some of the streets. Our church wasn't prepared for it so my older son salted the walkways for the ushers. It gave him something to do while we sat for 30 minutes waiting for mass to begin.

I even had time to take a nap and read before the extended family came over for dinner. It just seems like it changed overnight.

Boys

2009-12-21T06:43:00.003-06:00

Is it just my boys? Could our educational system have been designed with less concern for how boys learn? In many ways my two boys and two stepsons are very different. What motivates them is different, they learn differently, they have different interests and intellects. But none of them really enjoyed school. At best they tolerate school. My youngest, who is the most eager to please and always has a big smile on his face says that every minute at school seems like an hour. He comes home ready to explode and has to take a half hour to decompress. I'm not one of those parents who think their children are bored because they are just so much brighter than the rest of the class. I think my boys expend all of their energy just getting themselves to stay sitting in their chairs. Originally I believed that block scheduling (only 3 or 4 classes a day but and 1 - 1/2 hours in length) would be helpful for my boys because the teachers could delve into the subject more thoroughly and they could perhaps do some interesting activities. Unfortunately, it has turned out to be an excercise in sitting longer,

My daughter thinks school is just fine. She is somewhat bothered by the pesky studying but the social aspects get her through the day. She develops a quick understanding of her teachers. Most of her teachers are women, many are alumnae of her school, and they share stories about their children, husband, school experience. Sometimes it sounds like very little school work is being done. Since it is a Catholic school they seem to have lots of visits to the Chapel, First Friday masses, rosaries and many days off.

My children in Catholic school have been off since last Thursday and Friday. My other son goes through tomorrow and he is not happy.

Please no whining Claire

2009-12-17T12:44:00.006-06:00

Yesterday I was listening to an AM news station and heard our Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill lamenting the fact that because of the ongoing health care debates she would not be able to be home until Christmas Eve at the earliest. The newscaster introduced the sound bite with a comment about a tired sounding Senator McCaskill. She did sound weary and I was surprised at her comment. I like Senator McCaskill and she usually seems as though she truly cares about the issue she is discussing.

She said her children would be disappointed and she wasn't going to get to her holiday baking. I guess she's feeling a bit of the holiday stress. And she has the added stress of being having to deal with life altering legislation. More likely to impact my life than hers since as I understand it those in the legislative branch of government would continue with their current heathcare. Clearly health care issues need to be addressed, I have family members and friends who either do not have insurance or have to make difficult decisions based on their ability to get insurance. Not to mention this high unemployment.

Claire is usually more measured in her rhetoric and I found her comment out of the norm. When I worked I typically had to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I'm sure we all have loved ones working through the Christmas holidays. Or loved ones who wish they were working anytime.

Santa

2009-12-06T09:28:00.004-06:00

Over the last several years I have threatened my two older children with no presents for Christmas if they told their younger brother the truth about Santa. Out of all the warnings and threats I've given them this seems to be the only one they have heeded. He's 11 now, in 6th grade, and should know the truth. It could be embarrassing for him -- I'm assuming the others in his class have figured out the truth. This would have been much easier when he was in 3rd grade. I'm hoping he's just pretending and I won't be breaking his heart.

The Library

2009-11-30T22:18:00.002-06:00

Does anyone else enjoy the library as much as I do? I am fortunate enough to live close to the greatest branch in our library system. A slight detour to any errand and I'm at the library. I'm there at least once a week. I've always enjoyed picking up an armload of books and magazines and browsing through them.

My children are great standardized, college entrance exam testers. I attribute much of this to the library. Beginning when they were very little we would make weekly trips to the library. They would come out with stacks of books, tapes and movies. Many times the books were too difficult for them to read but they were able to read captions or sections of the books. I think this gives them a broad array of information. Unfortunately, none of them are solid A students and are usually characterized as 'underachievers' by their teachers. I'm grateful they have the test taking ability. Keeping track of the books is still a challenge.

My daughter recently had to write a poem for English class and used the adjective 'average' to describe herself. There are so many strong girls at her school with even stronger parents that at times it seems hard for her to find a place for herself. So my mission at the library today was to find some biographies on women. I decided to search through the children/young adult section since I thought she'd be more likely to read through a few of those. Well, there are shelves and shelves of men's biographies but not very many about women. And quite frankly, most of the female bios were written about women who were only famous because of their husbands. I'm going to have to take some time and search out some biographies for her to read. Any ideas?

Dear Macy's

2009-11-25T16:11:00.005-06:00

About 2 weeks ago I was in your store, taking advantage of one of your $10 coupons and purchasing a gift for my mother-in-law. I know I don't frequent your store much anymore so who am I to give advice. As I walked through the store on my way to lingerie I noticed LONG, LONG LINES. I hurried, found the robe I wanted and got into a LONG, LONG LINE with 3 registers, 2 had sales clerks working them and one of them was on the phone. After waiting a LONG LONG time I finally was waited on and hurried out of your store.

Now, as we tell our children, if you are taking the time to do something DO IT RIGHT. Macys, you went to the trouble and expense of putting an ad in the paper, you bought the products and put it in the store, you had all the lights on, you decorated but you failed to get people to sell the stuff. I like to try shoes on, pick up pans, smell perfume. I would have gladly wandered around for another hour but I was afraid I might want to buy something and have to stand in LINE. I HATE standing in LINE.

Sincerely,

Mrs. C

cc: J C Penney, Marshall's, TJ Max, Steinmart Best Buy, Hobby Lobby

It Worked

2009-11-24T06:22:00.002-06:00

Thanks for Toad and Mom on the Run from Abnormally Normal for their suggestions on how I handle the daily communications I get from my children while they are at school. I used 'bummer' yesterday and it stopped them in their tracks. No more follow-up wining or requests for missing items.

However, this morning 2 of them are sick. One clearly can't go to school, but the other I'm not so sure yet. In the old days, before H1N1 it was not uncommon to give a child with a low grade temp some tylenol and send them to school or daycare. Usually, by the time the tylenol had worn off whatever was causing their temp was gone and you didn't hear anything until they came home. Occasionally, Mom misjudged the situation and would get a call to come pick up their child. The school nurse would be understanding and not judge. Those days are over. All a child has to do now is wander off to the nurses office and you get a call to pick them up.

Dear Children,

2009-11-17T10:47:00.003-06:00

Dear Children,

I know that you have laptops and your phones at school. Please do not contact me during the day. I don't want to know that you forgot $3 for your flu shot, need $10 for a mixer (only a few tickets left), that you hated lunch, had a pop quiz, flunked a test, forgot an audition, or need your gym clothes.

The school rules clearly state that phones are not to be turned on and personal email accounts are not to be accessed during the day. If you continue I will report you to the authorities!!!

Love,

Mom

Good Idea???

2009-11-16T16:42:00.003-06:00

I was flipping through the Target add yesterday and noticed a toy in the ad which made me pause. It's a giant red ball that a child sits in while apparently being pushed by another child. At least that is the way it is depicted in the ad. I can't imagine this being a toy that is going to have a happy ending. Maybe kids would play responsibly for 5 minutes, but after that don't you think they'd be giving that ball a big push down the hill? I know mine would have. Really, the idea of this toy makes me queasy. Maybe the next big toy will be "Happy Fun Ball" or Bag O Glass (are you old enough to remember that).

Halloween Holiday

2009-10-31T07:57:00.003-05:00

My son, visited an Engineering campus in our state (about 2 hours from home). Saw it, liked it, applied, got accepted and sent in $$ and all the paperwork. I know it's a good fit for him and he seemed happy while we visited. But it's fall and the leaves are turning and I think it would be nice to take some trips to visit a few more universities. We'd get to be in the car together for several hours, maybe have a nice lunch or dinner. But no his mind is made up, he doesn't want to visit anywhere else. Kind of the way he shops for clothes.

On the other hand, he is getting a costume together for tonight. Shouldn't there be a few year break between sending in your college application and dressing up for Halloween?

Mother

2009-10-28T21:15:00.002-05:00

I spoke to my mother earlier today. She went to the library and then "that store, you know the one where they sell those, you know where I got that, the owner is a friend of Jeans, they're going out of business???

Yikes, I wonder how my sister is going to handle our increasingly scatter-brained mother.

Warning

2009-10-22T11:02:00.002-05:00

This is a warning to all of you who still have husbands in their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s. You may not want to read any further.

My husband is 15 years older than I. When we got married he was very fit, an avid runner and played hockey. Well, he is now in his 60s. His knees hurt, his back hurts and he doesn't hear so well.

The upside: his hearing aids keep those crazy ear hairs hidden!!!

My son

2009-10-05T22:03:00.002-05:00

Since my oldest has been the focus of my blog recently, and on my mind continually, I am reminded of him as a boy. He's always been the goof ball, making faces in pictures and I'm sure he caused many an elementary school parent to groan when she saw that he was in her field trip group.

We were attending our summer swim team banquet (if you can call oodles of casseroles and cold cuts a banquet) when he was called to the stage to receive his trophy. The coaches had been calling swimmers up all night, shaking their hands and giving them their trophy. When our son got to the stage he asked the coach for the microphone. I started to sweat. The coach said 'insert name' wants to tell a joke. I'm now sweating and looking for the exit. Our son starts out "what do you call someone with a DICtionary in his pocket? Now I'm signaling to my husband to grab the other kids and let's make a run for it. Our son finishes "a smarty pants".

Really, this boy has been keeping me on my toes.

College Visit

2009-10-05T14:33:00.002-05:00

We had or college visit and it went well. Apparently something got through to him these past 18 years. He was articulate, polite, made eye contact, shook hands, etc. The things you assume he will do, but that you worry about when it's critical. When he is being asked a question by the Dean of the Engineering school, you can't help but be a little worried that the 18 year old who was running around with his little brother's light saber and tripping down the stairs, might be the one who answers. Luckily that boy did not show up! He argued with me about 'dressing up' but I think it helped put him in the correct state of mind for our tour.

I was exhausted by the end of the day. I'm not sure if it is because I'm not used to walking around college campuses or because I was having a difficult time imagining my son living a campus life.

College Visit

2009-10-01T22:08:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow morning we are off for our first college visit. I can't believe how quickly this has come. I don't think I've done a very good job of preparing my son for life without his mom. I guess he'll figure out how to get clean clothes and we do have several months to work on that one. He seems to be able to balance his checking account, order out, and cook a few things.

I find myself giving him hugs whenever he is near. He went to the homecoming dance last weekend and gave me a big hug and kiss as he was heading out the door. He looked so handsome. When he was little I always made sure he was dressed super cute so the pre-school teachers would give him a little extra positive attention. He was always one to stir things up, do things his own way.

I've made arrangements for his siblings for tomorrow. One is off school and is staying with a friend. The other has school and is going home with a friend and will have a sleep over. I've packed football gear and extra clothes. Today I went and picked up a couple of new shirts for college bound son to wear tomorrow.

And where is college bound son. Well, he is at a birthday party (one of his friend's moms just told me). Don't you think he should COME HOME and get a good nights sleep before we head out. IT'S KIND OF IMPORTANT.

Word of Wisdom??

2009-09-25T17:12:00.002-05:00

My parenting skills have devolved into:

you're known by the company you keep

if all your friends jumped off a bridge would you

you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

You're going to college next year?????

2009-09-17T16:08:00.002-05:00

My son, who has always been a bit of a challenge, is a senior. He is going away to college we hope (he has great test scores which will hopefully offset the fact that he HATES to do homework or turn it in when has done it).

Many of my friends who have seniors have begun to hear "next year, when I'm at college, you'll have no idea what I'm doing". Not a confidence builder but a typical senior response.

What am I getting? Text messages asking if he can go to the football game after swimming, can he stay and time for another meet, can he go out for lunch, go to a movie. All those years of pushing the envelope and suddenly he is asking permission??

Maybe if texting had been around when he was younger we would have avoided some struggles.

Revelation

2009-09-05T22:06:00.003-05:00

My oldest has been my most frustrating child. He has ALWAYS done things his own way. Of course I love him to pieces and since this is his senior year I'm finding myself a bit sad. My husband and I were sitting on the deck Friday night having a glass of wine and I told him how next year at this time we'd probably be brining our oldest home for the Labor Day weekend.

Anyway, he's a swimmer and has practices a couple of mornings a week before school and every day after school. He also is a musician and takes lessons one evening a week. He's also just finishing up his summer lifeguarding job. He is the kind of kid who needs to be busy, has lots of energy.

Well this week he had a REVELATION. During the short time he was home between swimming and music lesson he DID HIS HOMEWORK. That way when he came home from his lesson at 9:30 he was able to relax and GO TO BED AT A REASONABLE HOUR. The following day he told me how great this routine had worked and he thought he just might adopt it as a regular practice.

Have I not been suggesting that for the last 12 years? Did I ever suggest that we start our homework at 10pm, realize the printer was out of ink and drive everyone else crazy. Did I tell him calculus is so much easier to comprehend at 11pm when you barely keep your eyes open?

Please don't be sick

2009-08-25T20:43:00.002-05:00

While all the moms of young children have been blogging about how excited they were to get their children back in school, I sat back smuggly. I've been there, and now with the wisdom of years, and a son who is a senior in high school I thought 'I wish I could keep my children home forever. '

Of course I knew I couldn't, which is why I allowed myself to think that, and tomorrow they will finally all be in school all day and I've been gearing up for a day to myself. My youngest has been coughing and sneezing for a week. He looks a bit deformed because I have shoved a bunch of kleenexes in the pockets of his uniform shorts. I even took him to the doctor (after school) last week. No fever, just one of those viruses that need to run its course. He just came downstairs to tell me he doesn't think he can go to school tomorrow. Nooooo!!!

Bad Mommy

2009-08-16T22:38:00.002-05:00

Two of my children start school tomorrow. They both needed physicals which I scheduled for early July. My older son took his for his to school last week so he could participate in swimming. I CAN'T FIND MY YOUNGER SON'S FORM ANYWHERE!!! I am obviously struggling with keeping up with all the freaking paperwork from 3 schools. Everything is computerized yet we have to fill out the same info every year.

Please, just 15 more minutes

2009-08-11T22:59:00.002-05:00

Those of you with younger children know just how difficult it is to get the out of the pool when it is time to go home. Well, if it's any consolation someday you will get your payback. My boys were always a challenge to get out of the pool. You know the ploys, you finally get them out and then they remember their goggles on the other side of the pool. Of course they have to swim across the pool and then you start all over. By then your other charges are back in the pool.

Today my youngest and I were at the pool (he had brought a buddy) and I was enjoying sitting on the patio with a friend chatting (she couldn't get any of her children to go to the pool). After 3 hours he was ready to head out but it was such a gorgeous day I just did not want to leave. I gave him $5, told him to head to the concession stand and let me stay another 15 minutes. I didn't care if they spoiled their dinner, I just didn't want to go home.

In Writing --- Please

2009-08-11T07:59:00.002-05:00

Two of my children start school next week while the other is home for another full week. If they have to go back so early I'm glad to at least have my daughter home for another week ... she's getting fitted for point shoes, etc., etc.

Beginning this week we have the first of what will seem like an unending string of parent meetings. This week is a sports meeting for my oldest. I've been to a gazillion of these meetings, although this week we get to meet the new sports director. I don't need to hear his little speech. I know we will get to sign the parents oath of conduct and the students will sign their oath of conduct. Which is all great but just send it home or put it on the web. I'll get it back to to you ... I promise.

All of the schools and teachers will have their back to school nights. Once again there is nothing I am going to learn in these meetings that I can't read. From experience I have learned that some of the teachers will have power-point presentations accompanied by a handout which they will read word for word. Please just put it on the web.

And for an added hook, in elementary school, they ask you to write a note to your child and put it in their desk. One year we were simply unable to be in three places at once and had to skip that open house (we'd already had that teacher). Talk about feeling guilty -- I should have had another mom put a note in my child's desk.

Random

2009-07-22T18:06:00.002-05:00

My husband and I were talking about wine over dinner tonight, and we veered off into talking about the movie Sideways, and from there about someone he had had lunch with today who was from the wine country.

It made me remember a trip I took there many years ago with my first husband a year of so before he died. We had gone to San Francisco for a vacation and after spending several days in the city decided to go to wine country. We got a rental car in the city, ordered the least expensive since we were paying for costly infertility treatments and trying to watch our pennies. When we got our car it was a convertible! It was all they had available so we only had to pay the compact rate. It was the perfect car for our trip but an extravagance we never would have allowed ourselves (unless we knew it was one of our last trips together). After the wine country we went to Big Sur and Pebble Beach. Wonderful trip and that car gave it a little extra zip.

I can go back through my memories and find other moments like that, something little, that made a moment just a little bit more special.

He had received a pretty important patent, and as all you engineers out there know, you don't own your ideas. We got a gift certificate to a very fancy, schmancy restaurant which was very nice and as a surprise they served us their special raspberry souffle for desert. Again, just a little thing but it made our evening kind of special.

I remember him sending his mother a big bouquet for her birthday (they had had an up and down relationship due to an abusive stepfather). It turned out that she had invited a group of friends over for her birthday and she was so proud of him remembering her birthday and sending the bouquet. Sadly, a few months later she died and a few more after that he died. I know how happy he was when she called to thank him.

I'm thinking maybe in heaven, there's a sort of conceirge who takes care of these little things.

Optical Illusion

2009-07-15T08:52:00.003-05:00

My boys had their physicals this week. My baby needed one to enter (sob) 6th grade!! The pediatrician asked him if he wanted me to leave the room during the physical (he didn't). Another sign my baby is growing up.

My older son needed a sports physical. Our fall sport practices begin August 10!

He is a bit over 6 ft. now. When he's standing next to me I think we're the same height (I'm 5'7"). When I catch a glimpse of us in a mirror or glass door I'm amazed at how much taller he is than me. (any of you grammar buffs -- should that be me or I)

Such Fun!!!

2009-07-13T09:37:00.002-05:00

Many years ago, when our oldest was a baby, my husband and I got Sunday night season tickets to our local outdoor theater. It started out as a 'date night' for us and we always enjoyed it. We would go out for dinner and it the show was not great, we were too hot, or I was too pregnant, we would leave and go for dessert or mosey around a book store. Some summers it seemed almost like a chore to go, it was so hot or we had trouble getting a sitter, but we had 3rd row aisle seats and were afraid to give them up. And then it became easy to go, we had a built in sitter.

A few years ago my parents found out there were seats next to ours and got those two tickets (they found out from my husband). That was the end of date night -- we were a foursome. My parents are older now and only go to a very limited number of shows a year.

Last night they chose not to go and I went with my three children!! This probably sounds weird to those of you with small children, but it has been such a long time since I have gone anywhere fun with all my children. There are no more group outings to the zoo, parks, botanical gardens or library. We go to church and family parties and sometimes out to dinner.

It was such fun watching them interact, amazingly they still did a bit of bickering. My oldest (very tall and thin) likes to give health tips to his younger brother (not yet so tall and a bit chunky). After a little bit of chiding and teasing each other they had a great time and I was so proud to be their mother. It is amazing how fast they have grown up.

Just Because

2009-07-09T14:25:00.002-05:00

Note to all you 50ish ladies --

Just because you still fit into your jeans from the 70s does not mean you have to wear them!!

It's wonderful that you still fit into those jeans, apparently your weight has never fluctuated since you don't seem to have picked up any fashions from the last 3 decades.

Treat yourselves to a new pair of jeans, maybe a pair that are not tightly cinched at the waist.

Ideas for massive amounts of food

2009-07-02T08:05:00.003-05:00

My husband took our son to swim practice this morning so that "I can get a few things done" before the weekend. Well, as you can see I am reading blogs and posting (although I have nothing special to say).

My sons' friends were over again last night after he finished life guarding at 9pm. (He is at a busy pool this summer and it has been eye-opening experience for him in terms of parenting styles. Maybe I don't seem so bad now.)

Anyway, does anyone have any ideas on how to fill teenage boys up? I have encouraged them to eat here some of the time and they have finally figured out that they have to work an hour or more to buy a meal at Qdoba (their current favorite). I made two big cookie sheets of nachos and my daughter had made a vanilla sheet cake with chocolate frosting. I've also been slicing up watermelons which they devour. I'm also encouraging them to drink .... drum roll please .... WATER.

Swim Team

2009-06-30T08:10:00.002-05:00

I have had someone on swim team for the past 15 years. It has been a great experience for all my children. They may not be the fastest swimmers on the team but they are all good, strong swimmers. It has been well worth the effort. When they were younger and I desperately sought out camps to keep them busy during the summer we worked around the swim team practices. As they got older they figured out that I was signing them up for camps based on carpools and length of camp (6 hours rather than 1-1/2 hours). So they scaled back their camp attendance, which worked out ok because by then they could entertain themselves for more than 20 minutes. One thing I never compromised on was swim team. We insisted they participate.

Our team practices in the morning and again in evening. The swimmers can attend any and all practices. I highly encourage anyone with young children to get them involved in a swim team. It has taken the place of camps (they can go to practice and then hang out at the pool). I don't want to give myself a false sense of security but I feel much more comfortable when my children are around water.

Anyone who has been involved in swim team knows that it takes a huge amount of work by all the parents involved. Our children swim at a private pool (sort of like a subdivision pool). We did swim at the country club for a time but their friends were at the other pool so we switched back. At the country club we did have less work.

This year I am the parent rep. Quite frankly, I just don't understand parents who won't help. Like most parents, I have worked swim events while pregnant, gotten a baby sitter for a toddler because hubby was traveling. I was able to be the parent rep this year because my children are self sufficient. When they are little you just have to figure it all out.

Last night we had four parents decide they were not going to work the meet. Luckily we have some great parents who are willing to step in for these slackers. After we found subs one of the parents showed up (15 minutes into the meet). We sent him to his job and he was quite upset. Apparently he wanted to sit and watch the meet with some friends (like he has done the past 3 meets). One mom whose job it was to help with clean-up after the meet (15 minutes tops) said she had to leave because she has 3 children!!!

Okay so that is off my chest.

Priceless

2009-06-18T13:35:00.003-05:00

2 bags of Cool Ranch Dorritos $5

1 case of Mountain Dew $6

1 case of Coke $6

1 case of water $5

2 pounds of spaghetti $3

2 jars of spaghetti sauce $3 (I bought the cheaper stuff)

1 pound italian sausage $4

1 loaf french bread $3

1 tray homemade brownies $3

Overnight rental of the Rug Dr. $45

Being the home all the kids want to hang out at -- priceless.

Party!!!

2009-06-17T06:48:00.002-05:00

Apparently, once again, my children had a party after I went to bed (not sleep). Oops, don't get the wrong idea, I mean I don't fully fall asleep until the lights are off and there are no scurrying footsteps.

I got up this morning, the kitchen is a mess, there are dishes in the sunroom and someone was apparently looking for something in the laundry room cabinets. I haven't even been downstairs yet. I really need to mention this to them. Oh that's right, I have, about 6000 times.

Sleep

2009-06-12T11:06:00.002-05:00

I am a person who requires sleep. I'd love 9 hours but that isn't happening. So now I would settle for 6 uninterrupted hours. I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to get sleep when my children were babies but I knew going in that sleep would be elusive. After they got into their toddler years I got that sleep (thanks to a great routine and helpful husband). They slept 10 hours a night. Of course we would have what seemed like weeks of an illness sweep through the family but we were always able to get back into our sleep routines.

Now that I have teenagers I am once again not getting enough sleep. Last night I heard cars around 11pm and knew son was home from water polo practice. Great, I can get 7 hours of sleep. But he doesn't come in, they all get in one car and leave. I get a text they are going to get something to eat. Ten minutes to one he is home, dog barks an alert. He goes upstairs to his room and I drag myself up there because I have heard from other parents that you should always talk to you teens when they come home (so you can tell if they've had a drink, have red eyes). I know he's a good kid (swimmers usually are -- forgot about Michael Phelps' lapse) but I made myself go up and say good night.

And don't even get me started on Mr. Snore through anything.

Is it me??

2009-06-07T22:00:00.007-05:00

I am kind of reluctant to write this but here goes. I'm a middle child and I don't like confrontation. I remember when Sally Fields received her Oscar and said "you like me, you really like me". I wish it wasn't so important to me but I like people to like me. So hopefully, you won't dislike me after reading this post.

My book club talked about reading A Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. They had all heard it was wonderful, some of them had read it and loved it. If you are not familiar with the book it chronicles the unexpected deaths of Joan Didion's husband and daughter. I had read the book also and I just didn't get it.

My first husband died when I was 35 and he was 42. We had been married for 10 years and had a 5 1/2 month old son. We had struggled with infertility for many, many years. Obviously it was hard, who would think it wasn't?

I read Joan Didion's book and I thought why are you writing this? Who is your audience. Anyone who has been through a loss knows (I think) that everyone grieves differently, people are at different places in their lives. The press about the book was so positive. It just seemed like she was wallowing in her grief, looking for attention. I'm sure that was not her intent, she seems to get plenty of attention and appears to have led a pretty good life. I am sorry for her losses.

Some of my fellow book clubbers know about my past but some don't. I haven't felt it was something I needed to share with everyone. People do act a bit different towards you, usually in a good way. Those that had already read the book thought it gave great insights into the loss of a spouse or child. I didn't see that at all, it kind of seemed exploitive. That's probably a bit harsher than I mean to be. I guess that is what I'm not getting. I don't know Joan Didion but I'm sure she had very positive intentions when she wrote the book, I just wish I knew what they were.

I read blogs about widowers and I have the same reaction. What is the point? Who is the audience? I know how painful and difficult it can be to face this child rearing alone. I know how the unexpected jumps up and slaps you in the face. At some point you have to take a breath and just get on with life, unless you are letting this loss define your life. I hope I don't sound heartless, I just don't get it and wonder if it is me.

For the record, I also don't get baseball. My husband (I remarried) got shared season tickets and I went to a game a few weeks ago and thought, everyone else in this stadium is having a wonderful time, and I just don't get it.

Maybe I am too close to the losing a spouse situation. I read The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. I thought it was a great book, very readable and heart wrenching. I wonder if you asked a homeless person, or children who had such an unstable upbringing what they thought of her book what kind of reaction you would get. Would it be like mine to those stories of losing a spouse?

So I hope you still like me.

Also this summer

2009-06-07T09:41:00.002-05:00

When I am not picking up after my cherubs this summer my husband and I will be perched on stools in the kitchen watching tv. My daughter has taken over the sun room. She settles herself on the couch with her laptop, straightener and cell phone and she is set for the day. My boys and their friends have claimed the basement family room, even asking for some new cookie sheets so they can heat up pizzas and snacks down there. (Here's a secret. We have a walk-out lower level but I told the kids the alarm will go off if they go out after I go to bed. It won't. Now, that I'm typing this, I'm thinking these kids are too smart not to have figured it out.) Another worry, we have a pond behind our house and I'm always afraid one of the boys will get cocky and jump in.

We have an old tv in our bedroom but I've gotten used to the resolution on the new flat screen ones. We did watch Roman Holiday last night, and since it was in black and white it was ok.

Mom Can Do It

2009-06-03T08:54:00.002-05:00

Apparently my children's philosophy for the summer will be "if Mom can do it why should we". We really had no transition between school and our summer activities. They are all busy and are using every bit of free time to lay on the couch and watch tv or play video games. I guess during the school year I do a lot for them and they expect that same type of service.

We've been out of school since Friday and have had two friend parties, one graduation, one dance recital and one family birthday to celebrate.

I know three children who are getting a reality check today when they, get up, get home and get off the couch.

Love

2009-05-24T11:46:00.002-05:00

Today we went to the 7:00 am mass because my youngest we serving for his first time. He wanted a quiet mass that his friends would not be at for his first time out. He did have one buddy there, a boy who had spent the night with us.

We never go to this early mass. It's just too hard to get up, look decent and get out of the house on time. I knew the older folks frequent this mass and since we had to be there early for my son to prepare I got a chance to really look around at the crowd (not really a crowd this early). As I watched them come in I was touched at how they all help one another. If the wife has a cane the husband will help lead her into the pew. If a husband is shuffling or all hunched over the wife will take his arm. They were all so patient and kind with one another. It was so inspiring to see -- I'm sure it's hard to change your pace or you expectations but they all seemed to graceful and loving.

Bad Mom

2009-05-22T08:48:00.002-05:00

I've had children wearing uniforms to school for the past 11 years and today, for the FIRST time I did not have a clean shirt for one of my sons. I went through the basket of white shirts and found the best looking one for him to wear. He could care less but I feel so bad. Why do they make elementary school boys wear white shirts anyway.

Elizabeth Edwards

2009-05-21T20:44:00.004-05:00

I picked up Resilience by Elizabeth Edwards at the library today. I had watched her on a few tv programs last week and then heard there was some controversy about her sharing some of those personal aspects of her life (regarding her husband's infidelity). I only spent about a half hour skimming it while waiting for my son's carpool but what I read was so good. From what I managed to read in the half hour I had she spends quite a bit of time discussing her son Wade's death. Those sections were just beautiful and I think most Mom's would agree with the sentiments she puts into writing. I think most of us would agree with her statement, "There is nothing in life I have done better than to parent my children. And even that is not even particularly close to perfect. There is always someone who parents better, who does whatever you think you can do at least a little better." When I read the first line I thought well, aren't you tooting your own horn, but then she follows it up saying she's not perfect and giving examples to which most moms can relate.

I'm going to start the book at the beginning tonight. From the interview I heard last week I thought the book was going to focus quite a bit on her husbands infidelity. While I was paging through I didn't see anything about it so it must be a small part of the book. It's too bad so much of the press was about that aspect and not her mother's point of view.

For the life of me I don't know why anyone should suggest that she not write about his infidelity. I would think she could go on tv and throw darts at him if she wanted. I haven't been in her position and would never judge what is acceptable behavior but I think this is one of those cases where everyone handles it in their own manner.

Anyway, I think she does a wonderful job of capturing a mother's love for her children.

Volunteering

2009-05-01T08:51:00.003-05:00

I volunteer a few hours a week at my daughter's school bookstore. She's in 7th grade now so the opportunities for helping in her class are gone. This is a good chance to see her old friends and new ones. She's been at this school since kindergarten and they had a large influx of new girls this year.

A couple of weeks ago all the bookstore volunteers got an email with lots of potential questions and answers we might have. You know, things like what to do if I have to got the bathroom, how to deal with a disgruntled customer and most importantly, how to figure the 10% discount that teachers receive. Wow, they even said we could use a calculator if necessary. There were lots of little helpful tidbits???

Am I wrong to be kind of insulted? Have I signed up for the moron committee? Is this an opportunity for this mom to build herself/resume up?

Computer Progress

2009-04-20T18:42:00.003-05:00

My youngest came home from school today and told me he had to have a picture of himself dressed in colonial attire for a report due tomorrow. Ok, sure. Fortunately, we had been to Williamsburg a couple of years ago and got him a tri-corner hat (and we found it in our dress-up box). He put on his black baseball pants, white shirt and I ran and got a plaid Pendleton vest from my Dad's. We took pictures and emailed to Walgreens. I ran and got those and we are done. But really, isn't this ridiculous. He could never do all this himself.

My husband is going on a trip to visit his quite elderly mother this week and needed his boarding passes, itinerary, etc. He is 67 now and semi retired (he's many years older than me -- wouldn't that one housewife on Real Housewives of NYC have fun with us). Back in the day he had a staff that took care of things like this for him. Now he has a part-time assistant who doesn't do any of this stuff so I am doing it for him. However, he seems to think he still has that staff of years ago. I believe he just may end up in a middle seat on one leg of this trip and upgrades are definitely out.

I really preferred when teachers had the students draw a picture or cut it out of a magazine. And going to travel agents was easier. All this can be done by me but it does take up time.

Free Friday

2009-04-17T20:52:00.002-05:00

I am home alone for a few hours this evening. This absolutely NEVER happens. My husband took our youngest to his baseball game, oldest is at a water polo match and I am waiting for middle daughter to call to picked up after a mixer.

So what am I doing with these few free hours. Laundry. Every last piece of it is done, put away properly, ironed. Whew. I won't have to do that again for months. Oh no, I mean Monday.

Free Day

2009-04-15T08:52:00.002-05:00

I have no lunch meetings, appointments at the house, or out of the house with couselors, etc. It is a totally free day. Well at least for a few hours, then we have orthodontist, baseball and water polo.

But, I am getting my hair colored and cut today, along with a pedicure. I'm taking my book with me because I just don't feel like making small talk with the beautician. She's nice but not someone I've known forever and I want to read. I hope that's not too rude.

Crossing My Fingers

2009-04-13T10:06:00.002-05:00

For the past three weeks my children have all been in school for a total of ...... one ...... day. We've had different spring breaks, a major flu bug and Easter Holidays, winning the basketball tourney holidays, you name it. I still have two home today but tomorrow they should all be in school!!!

They are older now so it's not as difficult as when they were little but it is still hard to get much done when they are home. I really struggled getting ready for Easter this year, but it ended up fine and everyone had a great time. I am usually ready early but not this year.

We have lots of activities coming up now, baseball, water polo, graduations, birthdays, etc. I just want to have a few days to get a handle on some things in the house and some paperwork which has accumulated cleared out. If I can spend all day tomorrow at home, BY MYSELF, I will be able to enjoy all these activities so much more.

One thing I have learned from reading various blogs, is you really should enjoy everyday with our family.

Update

2009-04-03T18:55:00.002-05:00

My youngest was home for two days, went back to school and is home sick again today. My daughter has joined him!! However, while everyone was in school yesterday I was able to get to Nordstroms, meet some friends for lunch and pick up a Juicy fleece jacket and pants for my daughter (on sale, and in pink her favorite color). It will be going in her Easter basket. Now I need to find something for my boys. If all I had was girls I would be broke.

Almost

2009-03-31T14:08:00.003-05:00

Well with two weeks of spring break done and gone I thought I might get a moment to reclaim my home and life. My friend and I who are training for our 1/2 marathon have missed several training sessions. My cupboard is bare and my house is clean but disorderly. I have a swim team parent rep lunch meeting this week and a lunch scheduled with some friends.

Alas, yesterday my youngest comes home from school not feeling well, falls asleep on the couch and gets sick last night (while I was at book club). He was up during the night and got sick again today (all over the sun room couch which I would like to replace -- so a big thanks to him). Now I know he will be home again tomorrow.

I don't know if it is because he is the youngest but he is still a hugger and cuddler. After we cleaned up the sun room (and I threw away the rug) my husband called to see how he was feeling. My little guy (well 5th grader) told his Dad he had just been sick and to please bring him a video game and jewelry for me. He really knows how to work us.

Special Olympics

2009-03-20T09:05:00.003-05:00

The President should not be making off-hand comments about the Special Olympics. That is just the type of comment my teenager might have made and we would have come down hard on him for it. If you are going to be on national tv maybe a more scripted format would be better so you avoid these type of glib remarks. As we have explained to our children, you don't use other people to get laughs or make yourself seem cool. I understand it was an impromptu remark, not planned, buy he's a bright man, why would this come out of his mouth? I know he apologized but do you think we might see some representatives from Special Olympics on the Today Show or nightly news suggesting that a comment such as the President's is misguided??? I don't think so.

504 Meeting

2009-03-19T17:42:00.003-05:00

I guess this is a way to document a meeting I had at my 17 year old son's school a few weeks ago. Maybe I can get some advise from someone or help someone. My son was diagnosed with ADHD the summer after he was in kindergarten. He went to a private kindergarten which was very affluent and probably somewhere we should not have been. We had the money to send him but not the social connections. There was a senator's child in the class and some other major company CEO's. Those names really got all the attention and the school was not a good fit for our family. I didn't even realize I was sitting with nanny's the first few soccer games I attended. But I digress. The kindergarten teachers were just nasty. My little guy sat out in the hall most of the year. At their urging we had him tested and based on the forms they filled out he got an ADHD diagnosis. So he was on meds from kindegarten until he was 16.

When he turned 16 he had a very bad experience with some bullies at his private, Catholic, prep school. He got very depressed, quit doing his school work and became very withdrawn. Our neurologist kept switching his medicine which just made it worse. Finally, we got him off all the medicine and at his request he switched to the public school over the summer.

At the prep school he got extended time for exams just because we asked and he had an ADHD diagnosis. The public school makes you jump through hoops. We did private testing and had a meeting to get extended time. They were so reluctant. The testing shows he is super super bright (we already knew) but that his reading rate is about half that of other juniors and he gets the info out slowly. Seemed to me like he needs extra time. All his teachers, the principal and the school counselor came to the meeting. Two the teachers (science and math) where he has the most aptitude were so hostile. The counselor had to nudge the math teacher to get her to stop being so mean. His other teachers liked him. Thankfully the principal agreed with me and the scientific evidence so he is getting the extra time but gosh it was so stressful. I paid her a big compliment before the meeting so maybe that helped. I thought it might seem a little over the top but for my children I will do anything.

More on all this later ... I'm still worked up by some of the comments from his teachers. I guess they really don't have to please parents since it is a public school and there is nothing in it for them to find one nice thing to say about your child.

Spring Break

2009-03-16T22:09:00.003-05:00

My oldest son is on spring break this week and my youngest two are on break next week. There seems to be no coordination between schools in our area of town. Some of the private, catholic and public schools are off this week some next. He doesn't really care because he is involved in water polo and has practices every day. My daughter is not thrilled that we won't be going anywhere. Maybe a quick trip to Chicago but I'm not sure. If anyone is near Springfield, Illinois the Lincoln museum is wonderful. I grew up in Chicago and it seems like we were overloaded with museum field trips and weekend family outings to museums. I was really impressed with the Lincoln museum, it's very different than what I was used to and kept all my children interested. (that was a day trip last year).

Anyway, it is really stressful having one off and the other two in school. He has had friends over and even though they hang in basement it is still a distraction for the other two and I'm tired. I hear them leaving around midnight, I can see the alarm flashing because a door is left ajar, I hear the pool balls clanging. And I cannot keep food in the house. I forgot how much they eat when they are home all the time. And I'm handing out $20s like tic tacs. It is nice having all this activity, just wish the other two were off now.

I'm training for a half marathon so I am trying not to let this disorder get in the way of my schedule. My days seem so short, I'm going to bed later than usual but still have to get up early with the others.

Sad

2009-03-12T22:56:00.001-05:00

Just had a good friend die and feeling very very sad. Knew it was coming but it just doesn't seem quite real. Can't quite imagine how her children are doing and how she managed to say good-bye.

Breakfast Dillemma

2009-02-27T07:00:00.006-06:00

It's Friday and I guess I've forgotten to go to the grocery store. I need to convince my 3 children that 1 poptart and rye toast are good choices. And would week old milk really hurt anyone?

We've all seen those cooking shows where they tell you to just use what you have in the frig and pantry to come up with a great stew or soup (steamed veggies, leftover roasted chicken, butternilk). What we really need is a show to tell us what to do with what we REALLY have in our frig and pantry.

Breakfast Dillema

2009-02-27T07:00:00.001-06:00

I hesitate to say it but ...

2009-02-24T20:21:00.002-06:00

I don't want to jinx myself but the last two evenings have been just great. My children have all made it to dinner, liked dinner (well tonight it was take-out pizza) and just been wonderful. They've been fun to be around, helpful to each other and myself. After my son's bass lesson this evening he came home and played bass and piano. He even chose nice classical pieces.

Baseball, water-polo and track will all be going strong in the next couple of weeks so I'm glad we are having this nice interlude.

My house is clean, laundry up to date and I have lots of great books to read. Next week I have some auction commitments but this week is shaping up to be very nice. Lunch with a few friends, mass tomorrow.

Poor hubby woke up with a wicked cold this morning and is kindly sleeping in the guest room. I had the cold last week so I don't think I would catch it again but he's a bit of a snorer when he has a cold and I really need my sleep. I think he'll sleep better if he doesn't have to worry about disturbing my sleep.

Does anyone else have a husband who snores?

Never thought I would say it ...

2009-02-19T16:42:00.002-06:00

Just a quick chance for me to get a thought down. I'm hosting book club tonight and have been volunteering at school's auction all day. While driving my 13 year older daughter to dance tonight I actually said .... "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". With all my life experience, graduate education, parenting books I've read, other moms I've talked to, that's the best I can come up with???

My daughter has been gradually sharing tidbits from last weekends mixer which prompted my comment. Last year we got our last American Girl doll, now this.

Update

2009-02-13T18:18:00.002-06:00

So I ran up to school and signed my daughter's permission slip so she was ok. When I talked to the counselor I told her I didn't quite understand this rule. The girls can stay at school until 6pm anyway but just not the theater. In the past there have been rules which I have filed (because my daughter hates to be different or stand out) and others have not followed those rules. For instance, her leotard was too low in the back for last years Christmas performance so I had to go get her a new one only to see others wearing much more revealing leotards. So I told the counselor I hoped that this would be a rule they would really follow and that it would not be administered willy-nilly. She assured me it would.

Ok now you have the back part of the story. Here is the other part. There is a mixer at a boys school tomorrow night. One of the girls new to the school last year does not like my daughter and my daughter does not like her (this girl was bad mouthing one of the girls my daughter dances with who was coming to school this year). Anyway, last years new girl invited a bunch of my daughter's friends to her house before mixer but not my daughter. My daughter and another girl who was not invited are going to the mixer separately. They got tickets from a boy we swim with and whose mother just so happens to dislike this mean girls brother and likes the girl mean girl was bad mouthing.

Guess who was not allowed into the movie and had to sit in the commons. Mean Girl. I really think it is a stupid rule but if it is going to be enforced why not her??? Her mom is an alum and both parents are lawyers. I'm thinking we may hear more. If she was my daughter we would.

Sorry for the rambling but my husband does not get it.

Grrrrrr!!!!

2009-02-13T09:54:00.002-06:00

Ok, I hate to be a ranter but I'm so annoyed. My daughter is in 7th grade at a private Catholic school. Today her class can stay after school for a movie to be shown in the auditorium. My daughter, of course, forgot her permission slip. I called the school yesterday to say she had permission to stay and also sent a written note to school this morning. I just received a call "could I please come up to school and fill out the permission slip". So now I have to run by school so she can participate. I called her counselor and she said lots of kids forgot the slip and they are calling all the parents. I know that some of these parents will not be able to get up to school for a variety of reasons (jobs, other children, illness, and it's just a stupid form). I suggested they put the forms on their website and she wasn't sure if they could do that??? We pay $15,000 a year for this school, get someone on the staff who can put a form on the website (or ask one of the 7th graders to do it).

I have been at school for two days this week working on their auction. I will be spending another couple days there next week and the following. At this moment I do not think I will be wildly waving my paddle for the adorable puppy.

My sons are both off school today. One is in public school the other in parochial. Can't we coordinate this stuff.

Ok --

Bad Parenting

2009-02-04T21:07:00.002-06:00

I just told my seventh grade daughter I would buy her a pair of pink patent top-siders (we saw in Journey's this evening) if she got an A on her science test. I know that is so wrong but we are desperate to motivate this child.

I apologize

2009-02-04T08:47:00.003-06:00

President Obama, I apologize for yesterday's post. You decided not to stand by your nomination of Tom Daschle and I am very pleased.

I find it hard to believe that Daschle made an innocent mistake but why should that point even be debated. You messed up and you are out. If I was in public office I hope that I would be so careful not to put myself in a comprising position but it seems like so many officials become corrupted by the system.

In the small organization that I am a part of I can sometimes see people doing things that might be considered a bit sketchy. Perhaps sell their used freezer to the said organization for the same price as a new one (which comes with a 3 year warranty). When I questioned the wisdom of this I was shot down -- what's going on??? If there is an explanation please give it. This is supposed to be a charitable organization and I think this expenditure gives us less money to donate but apparently some people don't see it that way. This may be the end of my involvement.

Taxes??

2009-02-03T09:08:00.002-06:00

Regardless of who you voted for, I can't understand why our President makes some of his choices. The Secretary of the Treasury made a mistake and forgot to pay his taxes. Now Tom Daschle has made a mistake and is wholeheartedly supported by our President. According to Andrea Mitchell's report on the news this morning Daschle was extraordinarily helpful to President Obama in getting the widespread support he received in the beginning of his campaign. I can't believe that President Obama is supporting Daschle as payback but I don't know why else he would not at least table the nomination or withdraw the nomination.

Many, many years ago when my late husband and I were just starting out, our tax return was chosen by the IRS to be audited. Apparently they took a small sample of returns every year to audit to determine how well they were doing their job, did we fill out the forms correctly did they catch any mistakes, etc. They went over everything with a fine-tooth comb. We had to show documentation for every line on the form. All of our charity deductions were scrutinized. My husband had contributed to a little known charity he was involved with in college and we to show that, yes, it really was a tax exempt organization. (This was before George Castanza gave contributions to the Human Fund on Seinfeld). We passed just fine but it was extremely intimidating and very time consuming. Apparently many of our elected and appointed officials do not feel this same intimidation since they know they can just say sorry and get a pass. Perhaps there might be a cabinet position for George in the Obama administration ... something to do with architecture????

Butternut Squash

2009-01-30T17:04:00.002-06:00

I got my butternut squash today for $2.21, so I am happy. I just couldn't pay almost $6 for it earlier this week. For $6 the whole family would have to love it! I just roast it with a little brown sugar and it is yummy.

Two of our four sons (2 are stepsons) are very anxious for me to have a super bowl party. If it wasn't a school night I would invite friends over. Instead we are just having the family and maybe my children might have a friend or two. I am going to make mini cheeseburgers and chicken wings and am trying to think of a few other fun foods. Of course the two most anxious are big eaters. My husband likes the salami at Trader Joes and they usually have a good selection of cheese so I should probably put a little tray together.

Monday night I'm out so hopefully we will have leftovers. I am going to the be the swim team parent rep this year and we are starting our planning already. I have had someone swimming for the past 15 or so years so I guess it is my turn. I don't mind the work I just don't like it when some of these parents get confrontational. I've seen some of them in action and am steeling my reserves now.

What a rambly post!

Wardrobe

2009-01-29T22:39:00.002-06:00

I think I need an entirely new wardrobe. I'm working on the auction for my daughter's school and these women are unbelievably dressed. They are in suits and sweater sets, lots of Yurman and pearls. I wore a sweat suit today. Yikes. Of course a fair number of them seem to be pushing paper from one side of their desks to the other instead of really accomplishing anything. I am curious to see how the economy impacts the auction. They seem to be expecting lots of big bidders and I hope they are right.

Book Club

2009-01-29T22:34:00.002-06:00

I have a wonderful book club. Most of the women I only see at book club and in passing at school or in the neighborhood. They're not like some of my friends who I talk to a couple of times a day. The last few books we have read have just not been that engaging. Does anyone have any suggestions? I can't seem to find any blockbuster type books. I'm sure they are out there.

What????

2009-01-26T17:29:00.002-06:00

I love veggies and have been enjoying butternut squash lately. I picked one up today and I guess I was paying attention at the checkout today because it was $5.63. I told the checker to put it back and now I'm wondering if that is how much I usually pay. Isn't that high?

Economy

2009-01-26T17:09:00.002-06:00

Lots of bad news on the economy today. Every time I walked past the tv CNN seemed to be reporting another company with massive layoffs. On my way home from school with my carpool I cut through an apartment complex. These are very nice apartments, rent is about $1000 for a 2 bedroom unit, lots of professionals live in the area because we have good schools (which my private school children may have to avail themselves of). Anyway, at the curb in front of one of these apartments was an entire household. Very nice furniture so it was not being thrown out. I've never seen anyone be evicted but it looked like that to me. We are expecting snow tonight and I wonder what will become of this families belongings.

All this bad economic news seems to be picking up momentum. I hope something turns around soon.

Oprah

2009-01-26T16:48:00.003-06:00

I am watching Oprah tonight as I make dinner. My children are counting on a snow day so no one is wandering through the kitchen looking for help or somehow avoiding homework. I think they will probably be off also so I am letting them slide. Probably not a good idea.

This afternoon Oprah is talking about overweight teens. I have a very good friend whose 13 year old daughter is 100 lbs. overweight. My friend and her daughter have a horrible relationship with husband/father. As I listen to the show I see all the problems they have. The Dad moos when the daughter walks in the room. He has nothing to do with his daughter. He doesn't eat dinner with his family. It has been a truly dysfunctional family but as I watch this I see it from the daughters point and I am tearing up. I don't know how to get my friend to get help for the daughter.

I have to say this girl is not very likable but I think she has turned out this way for a reason. I can only see this problem getting worse for her. She is mean because of a defense mechanism from her weight and her lousy parents.

The father is a college professor at a very competitive, prestigious university. Whenever I try to talk to my friend she makes excuses for her husband or blames her daughter. Her daughter just won't stick to a diet, she won't work out. She always blames the daughter. I see how the husband talks about his daughter and treats his wife. The husband worked for my husband back when this daughter was born and he used to call her the baby from hell. My husband is so grateful for him to be out of his area. My friend has always been afraid to have her daughter talk to a professional. I think there is probably even more going on in this family than I know (and what I know is not good).

Any ideas on how I can get them to look for help?

Just Because You Say It's True

2009-01-20T22:36:00.002-06:00

I have had a great day watching the inaugural activities. I had planned on staying at home all day today, and since I am almost always near a tv I was able to watch all day. I thought the enthusiasm was wonderful, and seeing some of the spectators with tears in their eyes made me realize that I simply can't understand what this election means to some people.

That said, I found much of the reporting extraordinarily poor. Clearly many, many of the reporters have a end in mind before they start their reports. When I took Journalism classes there was an emphasis on choosing words that are neutral. I saw very little of this today. I'm not quite certain what their agenda was, I guess to get some last digs in. I was listening to one who commented on the bad form of the crowd at booing at Cheney. Of course it was bad manners, certainly not anything we would tolerate from our children. But night after night you have been doing this on your television show. It was a lovely event, some parts of it I liked more than others,, but why mar it with poor manners.

Some of the observations made as being general facts just didn't ring true. Just because you say it doesn't make it a fact.

13 Year Old Girls !!!!!

2009-01-16T12:08:00.002-06:00

I can't take 13 year old girls!! I know how to deal with the messy room, clothes on the floor, ridiculous requests for high end purses but the social issues are frustrating. My daughter has a 4 day weekend and had made plans with another girl for movies today. While trying to schedule activities for my 10 year old (also off today) I tried to get my daughter to give me a rough estimate of the timing of her movie, etc. Her friend kept putting her off, had another friend spending the night. You know the drill. I kept telling my daughter make other plans, lets go pick up C while we are close to her house. You always have fun with her. No, No, No, I am going to the movies with E. Then E texts saying she will beg her mom to let her go to the movie but since she had someone over last night it might not work. I know it's not going to work so I said lets call K or C or R. But no!!! Finally K called with plans for tonight and what does my daughter do??? Decline -- she might go to the movie with E. Ok ... I told her you must call E and get her to commit now -- with specific details. Well surprise, E can't go to the movies. We call K back and my daughter will be going to a basketball game with her tonight. More fun anyway.

How do you tell your daughter she is being dumped for a better offer? I think as a Mom (because of our experience being teenage girls) that we can pick out these troublesome girls. How can you get your daughter to listen to you without saying E is a b-----, and so is her mom.

Missing

2009-01-14T16:56:00.000-06:00

I am really missing Life is Better with a Cute Outfit. Hope all is well.

Amazing Closet Finds

2009-01-13T20:32:00.003-06:00

Well, I threw out all my lamaze and breast feeding literature as I was cleaning my closet. Have not idea why I still had that, I don't think of myself as a packrat. Talk about a small world. This year my oldest changed schools because of some very serious problems at his old private boys school (which were never addressed). While at a swim meet at the new school this fall I saw a Mom who looked familiar, started chatting. My son had gone to her son's 3rd birthday party 14 years ago. They were in the same preschool. Turns out they live near us and our boys do the same sports and band. Anyway -- the point is -- I found a thank you note from this little boy in one of the boxes in my closet. Apparently we had given him Candyland. Seems kind of like a chintzy gift now. It seems like these birthday party gifts have gotten much bigger. I told my son he better treat him to Taco Bell to make up for the crummy 3rd birthday present.

Closet Cleaning

2009-01-12T21:34:00.003-06:00

Today I decided to really start cleaning closets. We have one walk-in master bedroom closet and it is definitely not large enough. My childrens closets are actually larger than ours. Whoever built our house must have measured wrong -- we have a huge bathroom with a huge linen closet, a little hall (???) to our closet and another door leading out to the sunroom. Anyway, I am going to figure out a way to hang scarves and costume jewelry in the little hall and maybe put a little mirror in there. I'm pulling everything out of the closet and pitching, etc. I found boxes of baby photos, little gifts I had picked up for the children when they were younger, even a darling size 4 Hartstrings Easter outfit (daughter is now 13) and we have been in this house 6 years so I have no idea where that came from.

I am guessing it will take a week to get this all straightened out. I had stuff all over our bed today so I couldn't even take a mid-afternoon siesta. Instead I headed to Home Goods hoping to find some cute organizational tools but turned up with nothing. I might have to try another one in a less organized part of town.

After I complete our closet I will once again tackle the kids closets. I had planned on doing all this last winter and never quite got around to it. This is only their second week back at school we have a 4 day weekend coming up. I enjoyed having them out of school but enough with these 4 day weekends. I don't remember all these breaks when I was in school (I sound like a fuddy duddy). Instead of giving them Friday off maybe they should have given them Monday and Tuesday off to watch the inauguration. Regardless of who you voted for I think it is going to be worth watching. The kids probably wouldn't watch it unless it was projected on the walls of the mall. (So far my children have not wanted to hang out at the mall -- one less fight)

I have an old satchel Louis Vuitton purse I will save but I am wondering about two old coach bags (one black messenger and one small white messenger). I kind of hate to get rid of them but would I ever use them again?

Off to shove debris on the floor and read before dozing off.

Dulldrums

2009-01-08T21:43:00.002-06:00

Recently Life is Better With a Cute Outfit wrote a post on some of the boring aspects of motherhood. If I knew how to link to her post I would but I can't quite figure out how to -- she's a great writer.

Anyway, I know exactly how she is feeling. It was so nice having the kids off from school. When school is in session I feel like we are just rushing from activity to activity and not really enjoying the moment. It's not because I've over scheduled my family. School starts very early, they have lots of homework, and my older two seem to stay up late which makes it even harder for them in the morning. Some of the reading I have done indicates that it is part of their biological clock to stay up late and sleep half of the day. Regardless, it doesn't fit in with our schedules. They each do an activity, sometimes depending on the season there may be an overlap with sports.

I never realized how important sports can be for some children. Some of the school teams are so competitive that the kids really have to do the sport year round in order to get on a team. My son who is a swimmer has to work all year. He also enjoys tennis but because he could never quite reach the level to compete on a school team he has had to limit his playing. I wish he could spend more time with it since that is an activity he can take into adulthood.

As Life is Better With a Cute Outfit said it is the same thing, over and over and over. And usually the only thing that breaks the monotony is some sort of crisis. Yesterday morning as I was getting breakfast, etc. one of my boys stopped up the powder room toilet off of our laundry. Hubby was gone, it was a mess, lots of towels involved. We have 6 bathrooms, why do they have to use that one. As I write this now I am also cleaning out our master bath tub. My youngest likes to take jacuzzi tubs and it is just gross sometimes when he gets out. I'm running bleach thru the jets and then clear water -- takes forever for it to fill above the jet line. I can't even believe I am writing about this stuff. It is so tedious and makes me sound like a terrible winer.

My family is great but I guess like most families they thrive on routine and I'm the one responsible for keeping their routine going. Try to shake things up and they are out of sorts.

Well I have been rambling long enough now and I believe the tub is on its' final filling.

Retail

2009-01-08T12:15:00.002-06:00

The new retail numbers are out and big surprise, they are down. Limited, which owns Victoria Secret, is down 10%. A few times over the holiday shopping season I thought about running in there and picking up some sweats or undies for my daughter and niece. Every time I passed one of their stores I would see this long line waiting to check out and pass. The few times I was in a Victoria Secret or other Limited shop it seemed as though they had plenty of employees, just not enough checkers. I'm assuming those manning the floor are trying to discourage shoplifters. I haven't heard anything on what the losses are from theft but it must be awfully high. There should be some way to eliminate those losses but it must be more difficult than I imagine. I've never worked in retail so I have no frame of reference.

In addition to the poor economy I think part of the slow sales can be attributed to the lack of anything very exciting to buy. The styles are all fairly similar to previous years. How many ipods can one person own? (my daughter claims 2)

My daughter wanted a Coach purse this year (not her main present, just an extra). In past years I may have seriously considered getting her one but as I was walking through the mall I thought how ridiculous all these 13 year olds look hauling around these Coach bags. She did get a Coach wristlet in her Easter basket last year so she is not too deprived.

In my opinion, it seems as though there has been too much excess. I can get to 4 very nice malls in 15 minutes, 3 Targets, and 2 Walmarts. I think some of the chains have just expanded beyond what the market can sustain.

What is it about you southern girls

2009-01-04T11:10:00.003-06:00

I grew up in a major midwest city and am now living in a large midwest city. I've traveled, am well educated, well read, etc. But for the life of me I can't figure out how you southern girls do it. You're traveled, well educated, well read, etc. yet you have that one thing I can't quite accomplish. You're able to add just that one item to a room, dinner table, package, and turn it into a masterpiece and you always look great and at ease to boot.

Case in point -- picked up my youngest from a sleepover yesterday. He had been at his friends for over 24 hours (their choice). This family has been transplanted from the south but has been here many years. I pull up to the house which has beautiful urns on the porch with lights and red spray painted twigs, large bows (you get the picture). Mom answers the door, looking cute, and says we're having our dinner club tonight so I have been cooking all day. She shows me her dining room with fabulous handmade decorations. Her table is set with gorgeous china which was her great-grandmothers. She was making a wonderful southern meal. The rest of her house looked beautiful too. She knows to tie that bow with greenery on top of her plate rack and put bows and wreaths on the back of her chairs.

So how do you do it? How do you know how to mix heirlooms with the new? How can you go to Hobby Lobby, pick up some inexpensive decorations, embellish them a bit and have your room look like a spread in Traditional Home?

Reality TV

2009-01-02T07:50:00.002-06:00

I think I am going to have to take the tv out of our bedroom. I am just becoming addicted to those reality shows and I don't think they have much to do with reality. Someone's blog mentioned the Real Housewives of .... and I found my self watching the Real Housewives of OC last night for hours. I guess I'm fascinated because they are supposed to be real. Now I am tired and annoyed with myself for wasting time. My goal the last 2 nights was to finish Lolita for my book club. Not enjoying that book at all but want to be done with it and move on to something lighter -- any suggestions.

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T13:05:00.004-06:00

We've had a wonderful holiday. Although, next year I am doing my Christmas shopping much earlier. I was running around like crazy the last few days. It seems as though all our extended family was available all the time so we had lots of last minute gatherings. My sister only lives a mile away but as our children get older it has become more difficult to get everyone in on place. I guess it is easier now because our older children go out later and later (when the rest of us are getting ready for bed).

My parents had us over several times and are having a New Years Party tonight. My parents are in their 80s and it is just hard for them to get things organized. So my sister and I are basically catering their party. I made crab rangoon, brisket, stromboli. Now I don't feel like fixing anything for us so we are going out for dinner if I can make last minute reservations. My mother likes everyone to sit around her dining room table for hours. When I mentioned that this might be uncomfortable for some of her friends she said "they could just go to hell". How's that for the title of an entertaining book (hope Martha doesn't steal it). My parents had a falling out with my brother a year ago and have really had a mental decline. Or I guess my brother had a falling out with the rest of the family. Mom just has this edge about her now. It's an interesting story I will share one day but she really used to be gracious and very kind.

So I was watching MSNBC, my favorite daytime viewing, and they are talking about SIPIC bailing out the Madoff investors. I don't understand this, can't I get my accounts restored to the value they were at earlier this year. If they could restore my accounts to their highest points I would take all that money I've lost and finish the redo on my kitchen and master bath. I won't put it back in the accounts that lost the money but will invest it in our economy. Please, it would really help out local economy, I'll use local contractors ... whatever you want. I guess I should have done my investing with someone who promised a 50% return.

Rant

2008-12-23T06:56:00.005-06:00

The other day Pearls to Hide My Neck had a funny post relating to her husband's concern over how many shoes she has, lights left on, etc. I think we can all relate. Well this morning my husband asked me what I was going to do today. Hmm, a long tub, manicure, maybe get my hair colored and a nice lunch with wine and friends. Gee, he watched me wrapping our children's presents last night and saw that we are short for our youngest (he is getting a real drum set but needs a few more to open). He knows we are going to my parent's home tomorrow night for dinner and I have to bring something our children can eat (another post). We're going to my sisters' home for Christmas and I have to bring dishes there, and we are hosting an after Christmas dinner for his son and family on Friday (they bring nothing -- maybe not even presents for our children). Still have to buy gifts for step-granddaughter (which is fun at this age). Every piece of my daughter's clothing is in her hamper (and she wears a uniform). What should I do today?

If there are any grammar experts out there can you please remind me about the ' for children, sister and parents. My brain is fuddled.

Update: The big present for my older son (a pick-up for his stand up bass) is not here. It was shipped December 12 and got misrouted. The rep at the company I used has gone home for the holidays but someone checking her email told me to check with UPS -- but didn't give me a tracking number.